Depression Is A Family Illness.
I refer to Clinical Depression a lot. To some it may appear as if that's all there is of interest in my life. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have a very full, rich and rewarding life, and on good days, I realize how blessed I am. I have a life partner who stands by me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have chosen family that brings me joy. I have good friends, a great career, and, of course, I have the Goonies, my furry kids, six beautiful reasons to get up every day, six souls who love me with every ounce of passion they can muster.
Some days it is fairly easy to be positive, other days it feels as though the blackness could swallow me whole if I were to stop fighting with all my strength for just a millisecond. Most days it takes a lot of energy just to behave the way I think "normal" people are expected to behave. Even before I was finally diagnosed with Depression, I was the anti Little Mary Sunshine. I was more like her lesser-known cousin, Little Bitchy Rainstorm.
Chris is the person most affected by my mood disorder, and she is the reason I am willing and able to battle my demons. It has not been easy for her. I'm a difficult person to live with, and it can't all be blamed on Depression. Chris gives me the strength I don't always have to carry on. She also gives me unconditional love and support. Most importantly, though, she will deliver a swift kick in the ass when one is required, and she makes her needs clearly known. She doesn't put up with a lot of bullshit, and I love her for that.
Medications have come a long way in the treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders, but drugs alone can't "cure" these illnesses. I'm fortunate that the resources I need are available, and that I have supportive family and friends. So many people don't, and lose their battles with the darkness. I tried, several times, to find a permanent solution to end the psychic pain. I'm lucky, I failed, many don't.
The highs and lows of my daily life may someday change from Mount Everest and the Grand Canyon to something a little less dramatic. One can hope. As it is now, life is not boring. Scary, yes. Unpredictable, yes. Boring, never.
I have a very full, rich and rewarding life, and on good days, I realize how blessed I am. I have a life partner who stands by me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have chosen family that brings me joy. I have good friends, a great career, and, of course, I have the Goonies, my furry kids, six beautiful reasons to get up every day, six souls who love me with every ounce of passion they can muster.
Some days it is fairly easy to be positive, other days it feels as though the blackness could swallow me whole if I were to stop fighting with all my strength for just a millisecond. Most days it takes a lot of energy just to behave the way I think "normal" people are expected to behave. Even before I was finally diagnosed with Depression, I was the anti Little Mary Sunshine. I was more like her lesser-known cousin, Little Bitchy Rainstorm.
Chris is the person most affected by my mood disorder, and she is the reason I am willing and able to battle my demons. It has not been easy for her. I'm a difficult person to live with, and it can't all be blamed on Depression. Chris gives me the strength I don't always have to carry on. She also gives me unconditional love and support. Most importantly, though, she will deliver a swift kick in the ass when one is required, and she makes her needs clearly known. She doesn't put up with a lot of bullshit, and I love her for that.
Medications have come a long way in the treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders, but drugs alone can't "cure" these illnesses. I'm fortunate that the resources I need are available, and that I have supportive family and friends. So many people don't, and lose their battles with the darkness. I tried, several times, to find a permanent solution to end the psychic pain. I'm lucky, I failed, many don't.
The highs and lows of my daily life may someday change from Mount Everest and the Grand Canyon to something a little less dramatic. One can hope. As it is now, life is not boring. Scary, yes. Unpredictable, yes. Boring, never.
posted by Alphamutt at 9:24 PM
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