Missing MacKenzie

A sweet bright light in my world was extinguished almost two and a half months ago. MacKenzie has left a giant hole in my life, and although I am trying hard to focus on filling the void with fond memories and the understanding that we gave Mac the best life possible, the hurt is as raw today as it was on October 21st, and it has only been compounded by the loss of Tucker earlier this month as well as my hedgehog Booker two days before Tuck.

I don't think I realized how much real time I spent with MacKenzie. Before she became ill the time was spent managing her behaviours and keeping all of the dogs safe while making sure Kenzie's physical, spiritual and emotional needs were met. After she got sick, I was with her as much as I could be because her levels of fear and anxiety meant she required almost constant reassurance. She cried whenever she was alone, her medications creating a totally terrifying and alien world. Without the meds her body and mind failed her, it was an untenable situation.

Not everyone understood my special girl. She was complicated, difficult and trying sometimes, but she was beautiful, intelligent and loving all the time.

I still hear her cry, and sometimes see her shadow. I can't believe that the force of nature that was MacKenzie will never grace us with her presence again.

I love you baby girl.