One Of Those Days.
I'm not a "glass is half full" kind of person. I've never looked on the bright side or hoped for the best, I'm more realistic than that. As a little kid I developed two theories, though, and Deb's simple philosophies for a life safely lived were born.
1) Make people laugh, because laughing people will rarely hit you. This isn't 100% effective, of course, there are people who chuckle while they torture babies, but how many psychopaths does one deal with intimately and on a daily basis? If you can keep a tormentor giggling for a few minutes, chances are much higher that less blood will be shed.
2) Make people happy. Period. Do what they want, when they want, regardless of your own needs, wants or desires. You can hate them for your weakness, or just beat up on yourself, either way works. There are some major design flaws with this philosophy, but it is successful, at least most of the time.
Today I asked a health care professional who knows the answers to such questions whether he believed some people were meant to be alone. Hard wired for solitary existances. He said yes, there are people who should be alone. "That was not the question", I said, "But that is my answer." he replied. At least he didn't call me Grasshopper.
I was really wondering whether someone can be so fucked up that being any kind of a partner/lover/spouse, even just a decent friend, is impossible. I wonder whether the essence of real caring can be beaten out of a person, and if it can be restored somehow. I wonder what's left over, whether it is worth salvaging.
I actually learned some ugly truths about myself today. Well, I faced them, or had them shoved in my face, is more accurate, I've always known my faults. What it boils down to is that I'm an angry, selfish bastard who needs to grow up, get over myself, and stop my trademark passive-aggressiveness.
That's easy enough. I'll get right on it. Feminist Counselor, here I come.
1) Make people laugh, because laughing people will rarely hit you. This isn't 100% effective, of course, there are people who chuckle while they torture babies, but how many psychopaths does one deal with intimately and on a daily basis? If you can keep a tormentor giggling for a few minutes, chances are much higher that less blood will be shed.
2) Make people happy. Period. Do what they want, when they want, regardless of your own needs, wants or desires. You can hate them for your weakness, or just beat up on yourself, either way works. There are some major design flaws with this philosophy, but it is successful, at least most of the time.
Today I asked a health care professional who knows the answers to such questions whether he believed some people were meant to be alone. Hard wired for solitary existances. He said yes, there are people who should be alone. "That was not the question", I said, "But that is my answer." he replied. At least he didn't call me Grasshopper.
I was really wondering whether someone can be so fucked up that being any kind of a partner/lover/spouse, even just a decent friend, is impossible. I wonder whether the essence of real caring can be beaten out of a person, and if it can be restored somehow. I wonder what's left over, whether it is worth salvaging.
I actually learned some ugly truths about myself today. Well, I faced them, or had them shoved in my face, is more accurate, I've always known my faults. What it boils down to is that I'm an angry, selfish bastard who needs to grow up, get over myself, and stop my trademark passive-aggressiveness.
That's easy enough. I'll get right on it. Feminist Counselor, here I come.
posted by Alphamutt at 8:59 PM
1 Comments:
one cannot make everyone happy! especially when doing so makes you, inside, unhappy. I have watche dtry to do it, I have tried to do it. Self loathing is created. Do not even attempt it if you can avoid it. I know have been doing it but at what price? Like yourself more and them less.
john w
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